100 Things
by Dragonclaw11
Summary: "Okay, so I have this idea. You know how people are always making up lists of a hundred things they shouldn't do, but do them anyways?"  Everyone watched him warily.  "Well," Jerome continued, "I have decided to do the same thing, but for us. You in?"
1. Prologue

**If any of you inhabit Harry Potter fanfiction, you'll notice these kinds of things popping up everywhere. And I thought, 'If Harry Potter can have it, why can't House of Anubis have it, too?' I also thought it would be funny. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own House of Anubis**

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><p>Jerome was bored. The whole house knew bad things would happen when Jerome was bored, and it just so happened that he had gathered all of the House of Anubis into the common room, when he was bored. So naturally, they knew this was not good.<p>

"I have an idea."

Patricia watched him warily. "It better be a good one for you to gather all of us together like this."

Jerome grinned. "Oh, it is." He paused. "Well? Do any of you want to hear it?"

They all sighed. "Sure," Mara said.

Jerome nodded. "Okay, so I have this idea," he paused. "you know how people are always making up lists of a hundred things they shouldn't do, but do them anyways?"

Everyone watched him warily. "Oh no," Fabian muttered.

"Well," Jerome continued, like Fabian had never spoken, "I have decided to do the same thing, but for our house, the House of Anubis. I have already created the list, I just need you all to join. You in?"

"No way!" Fabian said just as Alfie said, "Yes way!"

Amber shrugged. "I guess I'll do it."

Eddie nodded. "Sounds good. Yakker?"

Patricia sighed. "Fine."

"I think it'll be funny," Joy said.

"Sure, I guess," Mara answered.

Nina nodded agreement and glanced beside her. "Fabian?"

Fabian sighed. "Will we end up getting suspended?"

"No."

"Expelled?"

"No. Fabian, the only thing that will happen is we will have a good time. So…you in?"

Fabian took a deep breath. "Fine." Jerome grinned.

"Okay. The only thing is, no one else in the house will know if what you're doing is on the list, just to make things funny. Okay? Everyone ready?"

"Sure. Just one question, Jerome," Mara added. "Why are we doing this?"

Jerome shrugged. "It's a new year…why not have it start and go out with a bang?"

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><p><strong>*evil grin* This'll be fun…<strong>

**~D**


	2. 1 to 5

***chuckles* I've had fun with this. A lot of fun-I mean, who **_**wouldn't **_**want to make up ridiculous things for their favorite characters to do? …I don't know if I want you to answer or not.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own House of Anubis.**

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><p><em>1. I will not tell Victor Corbiere has been stolen and the model in his office is just a replica.<em>

Fabian paced outside of Victor's office nervously, occasionally glancing at the door. Did he really want to do this? Well, there was no backing out. Cautiously, he approached the door and knocked it. He paused, and knocked it once more.

"Yes, what is it? I'm coming, I'm coming, hold on."

Victor's scratchy voice sounded just before the door clicked and it opened. Fabian stared at Victor and swallowed. No backing out now.

Victor narrowed his eyes. "Fabian Rutter…well, out with it, boy."

Fabian blinked and cleared his throat. "Er, Victor, may I see Corbiere for a second?"

Victor's glare hardened. "No, you may not. Explain why you are here."

Fabian swallowed again. "Well, ahem, Victor, I have some outside information that this Corbiere is a fake, and has been stolen."

"What? Where did you hear that?" Victor suddenly sounded frantic.

"I heard Jerome and Alfie bragging about it." True enough.

Victor gave a start and swept past Fabian calling, "Clarke! Lewis! Come here! _Now_!" He turned to Fabian. "You, boy! Next time you hear about this, _don't hesitate and spit it out!_" Then he was off going down the stairs.

Fabian sighed. That part was over. He was glad, because he wasn't a very good liar, and the Jerome and Alfie part was believable. Very. Fabian glanced into Victor's office to look at the raven-crow-whatever that black bird was.

Fabian shivered. That bird gave him the creeps.

* * *

><p><em>2. I will not tell Amber that her couple names are stupid.<em>

Jerome hesitated outside Nina and Amber's door. Did he really want to face the wrath of the blonde? But then he thought, Jerome is too cool to be concerned. And he rapped his knuckle on the door.

Amber was the one that opened it. When she saw Jerome, she furrowed her brow. "Are you here for Nina?"

"No," Jerome replied.

"Why are you here, then?" Amber sounded genuinely confused.

Jerome took a step back and motioned to the hall. "Please, join me." Amber gave him an odd look before slowly entering and closing the door behind them. "Okay, so, the boys have all been discussing, and, they chose me to come forward-"

"Come forward about what?" Amber interrupted. "Look, I was in the middle of getting my hair done, it's all messy, can't you tell?"

Jerome glanced up. Not a single wisp was out of place.

"Er, yeah, sure."

"Then what do you want?"

"Look, Amber, us guys have been talking, and we've decided this-" Jerome paused, then decided to get straight to the point. "Your couple names are stupid."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah. Amfie? What kind of messed up name is that? It sounds like a flower. And Jara? It sounds like you're trying to name a statue, I mean seriously-? And what about Fabina? It sounds like a demented rose or something, or terrible nailpolish. Mickra? Please. It's just a tongue twister, and who likes Mickra, anyway? Losers, as far as I'm concerned, and Peddie? Sounds like something you'd name your toenail. Seriously, Am-"

Jerome returned to his room later that day with a throbbing headache, and his ears feeling like they were about to fall off. I mean, he knew Blondie could scream, but…who knew being beat over the head with a comb could hurt this much?

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><p><em>3. I will not shove Nina and Fabian in a closet saying if she really is his Chosen One then prove it.<em>

"Come on, Nina, nice and slow…"

"Patricia? Where are you taking me?"

Patricia glanced back. "Oh, um, Fabian said he wanted to meet you."

"In the school corridor?"

Patricia shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. "I don't know, Nina, that boy's mind works in strange ways." Her nose crinkled. "Always on about school."

Nina laughed. "You know, Patricia, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were Jerome's Chosen One, if you weren't dating the Osirian of course."

Patricia growled. Oh, Nina was going to get it.

"Here!" Patricia stopped in front of a closet.

"Uh, Patricia? Why are we standing in a closet?"

"Fabian's mind works in strange ways, doesn't it? Apparently he wanted to meet you in there. Go on, then."

Nina hesitantly turned the handle. She glanced back, biting her lip.

"Go on, Nina."

"Jerome?" Nina sounded incredulous.

"Yeah, me. Fabian wanted me to walk him over, saying he was a bit nervous. He's in there, Nina, I saw him step in a minute ago. Go on."

Nina nodded slowly and opened the door. Inside the closet was blackness.

"He's in there."

When Nina hesitated again, Jerome stepped up and pushed her forward. As she fell in with a shriek Jerome shouted, "There you go, Fabian! Now if Nina's really your Chosen One, prove it!" Then slammed the door closed.

It was silent for a moment.

"Nina said I could be your Chosen One, seeing as we're so alike," Patricia finally spoke. Jerome turned to her.

"Opposites attract, Patricia. I'm dating Mara, and plan to marry her some day. You just keep on dating the American, 'kay?"

"Okay."

"Let's never speak of this again."

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><p><em>4. I will not write in marker on Fabian's face, 'I love Nina' then forget to tell him for the rest of the day.<em>

Fabian was confused. Everywhere he went today, everyone was laughing at him, and he could not fathom why. When he asked Nina, she just patted his cheek and gave a small giggle, before changing the subject and talking about a book. Amber just 'aww'ed at him and clapped her hands, singing, 'Fabina!' But Fabian did not know why.

Every time Jerome looked at him, he would snicker and turn away, then break out into uncontrollable laughter. Joy and Patricia would just smirk, while Alfie and Eddie avoided looking at him. Yes, Fabian could not fathom why.

"G'day!"

Mick suddenly stood in the front door, beaming. Fabian widened his eyes and rushed over.

"Mick! Hi!"

Mick turned his gaze and Fabian and then suddenly let out a snicker and turned away. Fabian furrowed his brow.

"Mick?"

"It-it's good to see you, F-Fabian," Mick wheezed through laughter. Fabian looked at him curiously.

"What's so funny?"

Mick gestured vaguely at Fabian. "Here's a question for you, mate. Have you looked in a mirror lately?"

Fabian widened his eyes and rushed to the bathroom, quickly facing the mirror. He studied his face. In bold, on his forehead, decorated in little hearts were the words, 'I love Nina' and under it, 'My Chosen One'.

"JEROME!"

Oh, he was going to pay.

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><p><em>5. I will not tell Amber her clothes are out of style and polka-dots just went into fashion.<em>

Nina sighed before putting down her book and glancing at her roommate. "Ambs?"

Amber glanced up from her fashion magazine. "Nins?"

"Er…haven't you noticed something wrong with your wardrobe lately?"

Amber pursed her lips, suddenly looking anxious. "No, why?"

Nina swallowed. "Well, I was recently reading this fashion magazine-no, not that one, a different, newer one-and it said-" Nina took a deep breath. "You know how right now, pink is the new pink?"

"Yeah?" Amber leaned forward expectantly, and when Nina hesitated further she cried, "Come on, Nina, spit it out!"

Nina looked at her then suddenly said, "Well, that's wrong. Polka dots are the new style these days."

Amber looked at Nina for five seconds before she suddenly burst out laughing. "Oh, Nina," she cried through her laughter, "you are too hilarious and just _so _naïve."

Nina looked confused. She was sure-and she thought Jerome had been, too-that Amber would go out immediately and by polka dot things. So why was Amber laughing?

Amber continued. "Nins, never trust those magazines. Firstly, how can that be possible? I've been tracking Victoria Beckham's Facebook, and nothing new about style has been said. Second-Nina, why would you believe this trash? Polka dots? Every good styler knows that polka dots, unless matched _very _well, should not be worn-"

Nina groaned as she listened to Amber rattle off for another hour about the audacity of wearing such a thing. Curse Jerome and that stupid list. Curses.

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><p><strong>*chuckles again* Well, there you go, one through five. Remember, there's going to be a hundred of these rules, just letting you know. Not a hundred chapters, necessarily, but, if you do the math, you'll know.<strong>

**~D**


	3. 6 to 10

**I'm back! Thanks for the reviews. Here's another chapter of, '100 Things'! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own HoA, or Harry Potter. If any of you read this, I just gave some away, didn't I?**

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><p><em>6. I will not tell Trudy Victor has a crush on her. <em>

"Ugh!" Amber complained. "Do I _really _have to do this?"

Jerome shrugged and grinned impishly at her. "You're the relationship guru, right?"

"Don't try me," Amber warned. "I didn't forget the couple's thing."

Jerome's smiled faded, and absentmindedly, he reached up to rub his head.

"Fine," Amber huffed. Pushing the door, she marched into the kitchen. Jerome brushed by her and made his way over to the table, sitting down and idly cutting a pancake. He glanced up.

"Trudy?" Amber walked over to their house mother, tapping her shoulder. Trudy turned around and smiled, putting down a plate.

"Yes, dear?"

"Well, Trudy," Amber shifted from foot to foot. "You know how I know all the relationships and crushes, right?"

Trudy gave a light laugh. "Yes, the relationship guru, is it?"

"Yeah. Well, recently, it's come to my attention that someone has a crush on _you_."

A ringing silence fell across the kitchen and the table. Apparently, the Anubis kids had been listening as well. Amber thought she heard a thump as Eddie dropped his roll. Jerome hid a grin.

"O-oh, really?" Trudy blinked and turned back to the dish, picking up a sponge and beginning to scrub it. "Well," Trudy cleared her throat, and trying to say carelessly she said, "who is it?"

"Victor."

The dish Trudy was holding fell to the floor with a crash. She stood there, her mouth open in shock. "_Victor_?"

Amber hid a smile. "Yep."

There was a chocking sound coming from the table, and Patricia thumped Eddie on the back.

"Oh-oh my," Trudy murmured, glancing down at the shattered plate, "oh dear."

Suddenly the kitchen door opened, and Victor's face loomed in the doorway. Trudy gave a frightened squeak. Victor's eyes landed on her. "Ah, Trudy, I was looking for you. May you come to my office? We have things to speak about."

Trudy cried, "I don't love you!" And then turning, she fled the kitchen. Everyone was silent as they listened to the opening of the house door and the slam. Slowly, Victor turned his gaze on Amber. She gulped.

"Where has Trudy gone to? I was only going to question her to see if she'd like to become the house mother, permanently."

Jerome shrugged from over by the table. "I don't know, sir." He grinned. "If you ask me, I think she's crushing on you…"

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><p><em>7. I will not post, 'Welcome to Hogwarts' on the front of the school.<em>

Patricia pursed her lips. "No, not there…a little higher…lower, lower….A little more to the left, yeah? Okay, that's good. Wait-"

"Patricia," Eddie said, sounding exasperated, "It's fine where it is."

Patricia bit her lip thoughtfully and ran her gaze over the banner one more time. "Fine," she said, "but only because the students will be arriving soon. It's still a bit crooked there on the left."

Eddie scowled. "Why don't you put it up, then?"

Patricia rolled her eyes. "If I put it up, you'd have to tell me where it goes and supervise me, and face it, boys have no coordination."

Eddie opened his mouth, but his reply was cut off by a gasp. He glanced down to see a group of seventh grade girls standing and staring open-mouthed, eyes wide.

"Oh, hello," Eddie said pleasantly. "Enjoying your day?"

A brown-haired girl blinked owlishly and slowly raised a finger to point to a place above the doors. "What-what is that?"

Eddie glanced over at the sign. "What, that? Nothing, just a giant sign welcoming you to Hogwarts," Eddie looked at her. "That is where we are, is it not?"

All three of the girls blanched. "Er, we'll just-be going now," the brown-haired girl muttered. Turning around, they all walked away. Eddie glanced at Patricia. "That went well, yeah?" But both were interrupted from saying anything else as words carried over from the seventh graders.

"It's always one of the Anubis kids, isn't it?"

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><p><em>8. I will not tell Jerome that Mick is back from Australia and wants to 'duke it out'.<em>

"Jerome! Jerome mate!" Alfie ran, panting, into their shared room. Jerome glanced up from lying on his back in his bed as Alfie slammed the door and began to hyperventilate.

"Alfie, calm down. What is it?"

"Jer-ome," Alfie panted. He stared at Jerome with wide eyes. Jerome sighed, becoming irritated.

"What is it, Alfie! Just tell me."

Alfie swallowed. "I have some bad news, mate." Alfie paused.

"What?"

"You-you know how Mick said he would be visiting the house soon?" Alfie asked tentatively.

Jerome nodded. He was beginning to get a bad feeling about this…

"Well, he's come sooner than we thought, see," babbled Alfie. "He's downstairs in the entryway right now. Apparently he wants to duke it out." Alfie glanced over, reading Jerome's emotionless expression. There really was nothing to read.

"Okay," Jerome said, sitting up slowly, "did he say why, exactly?"

"No, not really, just something about Mara-"

"What?" Jerome said sharply. He leapt to his feet. Narrowing his eyes he said, "Where's Mick, again?"

"In the entryway, you know, that place before the stairs? Oh, Jerome-?" Alfie's words were cut off as their room door slammed. "-try not to do anything rash."

Alfie only stood there for two seconds before the room door flew open. Fabian stood there with wide eyes.

"Oh, hi, Fabian," Alfie greeted. "I just sent Jerome for the list thing. Do you want something?"

"Alfie!" Fabian shouted. "How could you do that? Remember Mick emailed us, saying he was coming back _three days before he thought he would_?"

Alfie stared at him before suddenly understanding. "Oh, no."

"Oh, yeah," Fabian turned and then paused. "Well come on, Alfie, it's your mess."

Alfie nodded, and together, the two boys ran out of Alfie and Jerome's room, rushing towards the staircase. They arrived just in time to see Jerome crunch Mick in the nose. Alfie laughed nervously.

"Well…that's karma for you."

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><p><em>9. I will not pretend I lost my memory and know no one for a day.<em>

Fabian blinked, shocked, as he watched his girlfriend walk away. Turning, he rushed back up the path where he ran into the rest of the Anubis girls.

"Oh, hey Fabian," Patricia greeted. "Why are you here?"

"Hello," Fabian panted. "Have-any of you-noticed anything-_off _about Nina?"

Joy furrowed her brow at him. "No, why?"

"Because-because I was talking to her, and I said, 'Hi Nina' and she turned to me and was like, 'Oh, hello, who are you? How do you know my name?' I said, 'I'm your boyfriend, Fabian, remember?' Nina just laughed. 'Hello, Fabian. I'm sorry, but I have no boyfriend. Are you sure you didn't get hit in the head?' And then when I didn't answer, she walked away!"

Patricia exchanged glances with Joy and Mara. "That does sound odd," Patricia agreed, "Nina saying you hit your head. Isn't Jerome usually saying that?"

Fabian lightly wacked her arm. "Oh, shut it," he replied.

"Actually," Amber spoke up, "I _have _noticed something strange. This morning, when we woke up, I said hi and she was like, 'Hello. I'm Nina Martin, who are you?'"

"Wow," Mara's eyebrows went up. "That _is _odd."

"I wonder if Nina really did hit her head?" Joy said thoughtfully.

On the path, ahead of the girls and Fabian, Nina Martin laughed.

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><p><em>10. I will not pretend I am Harry Potter and am at Hogwarts.<em>

"Expelliarmus!"

"Protego!"

"Er…" Joy and Patricia paused. "What's going on here?"

Fabian and Jerome stood in front of the house, facing each other and glaring. They each held sticks, and, oddly enough, were dressed in Hogwarts robes.

"Not now, Parvati!" Fabian cried. Patricia blinked at him. Odd. Why did he have circle shape glasses that he was pushing up his nose? And why did he have a sticker on his forehead? Patricia squinted. Was that…a lightning bolt?

"What did you just call me?"

"No time now," Fabian shouted back, waving his….stick. "Take Padma with you and go back."

"Padma who?"

Fabian rolled his eyes. "Your sister? Next to you?"

"What? Sister? You mean Joy?"

"No, I do not mean happiness! Now get back!"

Patricia and Joy exchanged glances and took a step back, just as Jerome began to madly laugh.

"What are they doing?" Patricia asked aloud.

"Oh, 'Tricia, can't you tell? They're playing Harry Potter. Fabian's supposed to be Harry, and I think Jerome's Malfoy. Suits them very well, actually."

"Harry-?" But Patricia's words were cut off as Eddie and Mara dashed into view. And why the heck were they waving sticks?

"Malfoy!" Mara cried. "Get away from him!"

Jerome sneered. "What now, Potter? Now you have little Mudbloods standing up for you? Disgusting," Jerome waved the stick. "Stupefy!"

"Finite Incantatem!" Mara shot back, and Eddie cried, "Expelliarmus!"

Suddenly Jerome threw his wand, and Eddie caught it. Jerome scowled.

"Get out of here, Malfoy," Nina spoke, glaring. She marched to Fabian's side.

"Oh, now the Weasels are helping you too? Pathetic," Jerome glared at them, and in a flourish, he turned and marched away. Patricia and Joy, or, Parvati and Padma, stared while Fabian, Nina, Mara and Eddie gathered together. Fabian turned to the other three.

"Thanks, guys," Fabian said.

"No problem, Harry," Nina waved it off. "I'm sure Ron and Hermione agree."

Patricia stared. _Ron? Hermione? Who's Nina playing, then? Well, Jerome-or Malfoy-_did _say something about the Weasels…plural…_

"Ginny's right, Harry," Mara said. "We're your friends, we'll do it anyway. Right, Ron?"

Eddie nodded without hesitation. "Right. Though, if you became a Death Eater-" Mara smacked his arm. "-right. We'll do it anyway."

Fabian laughed. Taking Nina's hand, the group of four began to walk away, Mara and Eddie arguing, Fabian and Nina smiling. Patricia blinked, dazed, and slowly turned to Joy. "Oh my," she said.

Joy shrugged. "I actually think it was quite good, right, Parvati?"

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><p><strong>Right, Padma!<strong>

**Wink, wink. **

**~D**


	4. 11 to 15

**It's been a while, sorry, but I have other stories. ^.^ Enjoy the chapter.**

**I know I promised a few this last week...but I'm one day late. Sorry?**

**Oh, and I don't know about the French class thing, or the Science class essay thing, because I don't do either of those. But if those are wrong, just ignore it and enjoy...!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own House of Anubis.**

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><p><em>11. Stealing all of Amber's makeup is a very bad idea.<em>

"Alfie!" Amber screeched. "Jerome!"

Alfie poked his head into Amber's room. "Oh, hello, Amber," he said, quite cheerily. "Something wrong?"

"Yes, something's wrong," Amber glared at him, putting her hands on her hips. Alfie widened his eyes slightly and swallowed. When a girl-especially Amber-put her hands on her hips, things were about to get ugly. At least that's what Alfie thought, anyway. Jerome seemed to think it was when the girl slapped you things get ugly. _He would know, wouldn't he?_

"Erm," Alfie said, finding his voice, "what is it?"

"_Someone _took all of my _makeup, _and _someone _will have to _pay_."

Alfie drew in a breath. It was when a girl enunciated every other word you could tell they were about to get going, too.

"Oh, er," Alfie cleared his throat, suddenly very nervous. Maybe it this wouldn't be as much of a laugh as Jerome said it would. Trying to keep his voice from getting high Alfie said, "well, someone shouldn't have done it, huh?"

Amber pursed her lips. "_Someone _better _fess up _ before _someone _gets their_ face_ pounded in."

Alfie's eyes widened all the way. "Amber, isn't that a little extreme?"

"Then _SOMEONE needs to give it back!_"

Alfie cringed at the octave of Amber's voice, and he could feel his will crumbling. "Uh, yeah, Amber," Alfie knew his voice squeaked, but he didn't care. "Right. You're makeup is coming right up." Alfie grinned at her. "Heh. Makeup, coming up? Get what I did there?"

"_Now!"_

When Alfie told Jerome about his conversation with Amber later, Jerome had given him a look of understanding. Nodding, Jerome said, "I agree, mate. I know what Amber's wrath feels like. And trust me-" he rubbed the bump on the back of his head, "it's not pretty."

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><p><em>12. Pretending to be an alien in front of Alfie will result in detention.<em>

"Eek!" Alfie let out a very girly scream. Running into his French lesson he cried, "Eek!"

Ms. Valentine looked at Alfie, amused. "Yes, very good, Alfie," she said, "a nice way to enter French class. Now," she turned to the rest of the class, "settle down. Today we will-"

"Eek!" Alfie cried. Ms. Valentine-along with the rest of the class-turned to look at him. "Eek!"

"Yes, Alfred," Mrs. Valentine said, "we heard you the first time."

Alfie took no indication that he had heard her use of his first name, and instead said, with wide eyes, "Eek!"

"_Why_," said Amber, "are you saying eek?"

Alfie looked at her and cringed slightly. The makeup incident was not forgotten, and she was now enunciating. Nothing good was going to happen. But despite the signs of danger, Alfie would not let it get to his good mood.

"Yes," Ms. Valentine said, smiling, "I am sure that is what we all would like to know."

"Alien," Alfie panted out of excitement, "Alien-in our-school."

"Alien?" Ms. Valentine raised an eyebrow. "Where?"

"There!" Alfie pointed behind him where suddenly, a cliché, classic, rubbery looking-and tall, Ms. Valentine noted-alien emerged. It raised its arms above its head and waved it around.

"Beep, bop, boop," said the 'alien'.

Alfie gasped. "He-he's saying that he's here to take control of humans and control the school!"

Ms. Valentine crossed her arms. "Alfie," she said, "take a look around. Have you noticed that the only person from class missing is Jerome?"

The class stifled their laughter while Alfie looked around, confused. "Yes, but-"

"Jerome," Ms. Valentine said, "or should I say, alien, take off your mask. _Now_."

Uh oh. She was enunciating. Slowly, Jerome took of the mask. Alfie stared at Jerome in shock.

"J-Jerome!" he stuttered. "Did the alien eat you?"

While Jerome was busy facepalming, and the class was busy laughing, Ms. Valentine was busy writing Jerome a detention.

"A three day detention will do the trick," said Ms. Valentine. "Or should I saw beep, bop, boop?"

* * *

><p><em>13. 'My dog ate my homework' is a bad excuse, as pets are not allowed.<em>

Joy was nervous, but also determined. Her other housemates-even Mara, she did Harry Potter-had been able to complete a task-this should be easy, right? Walking up to Mr. Sweet's desk, Joy cleared her throat. Sweetie looked up.

"Joy?"

"Erm, hello, Mr. Sweet," Joy gave a small smile. "You know that essay you assigned us on how to compare chemicals?"

Mr. Sweet looked expectantly at her. Joy took that for a yes.

"Well," Joy paused. She could not believe she was about to do this. "I was unable to finish it."

Mr. Sweet furrowed his brow. "Why, Joy? You have always been a nice, neat student. You have never failed me before." Sweetie looked up at her. "Alright, Joy," he suddenly he looked tired. "Why were you unable to finish it?"

Joy tried to keep a stoic expression. "It's simple, really. I had it all finished-typed and written, then printed out-when," Joy grimaced. "I'm sorry, Mr. Sweet, but my dog ate my homework."

Mr. Sweet almost spit out the tea he had been drinking. Choking it down, he cried, "What?"

Joy smiled sweetly at her teacher. "Yeah. My dog-Lucy's her name-at my homework. Anyway," she continued, hiding a grin as she noticed Mr. Sweet's bewildered stare and gaping mouth, "I'll have it turned in by Monday." She waved at her teacher. "Have a good day."

Then, turning, Joy left a flabbergasted Eric Sweet behind her. She grinned to herself. Okay, maybe that was fun. Just a little.

* * *

><p><em>14. I will not answer everything with, 'you have no proof'.<em>

"…and Vous êtes tous ridicules means, 'You are all ridiculous'. Any questions?"

Eddie raised his hand. "Um, yeah. Do you really think of us like that?"

Ms. Valentine smiled slightly and ignored him. "Questions, questions…hmm, Jerome?"

Jerome, with a straight face, replied, "You have no proof."

Ms. Valentine blinked at him, clearly unsettled and surprised. "What?"

Jerome smirked. "You have no proof."

"Ah, I see," said Ms. Valentine as the rest of the class snickered, "Well, you obviously think otherwise."

Jerome's face showed nothing. "You have no proof."

Ms. Valentine pursed her lips. "Hm. Well, I have all of France saying it. And I will say it again- vous êtes tous ridicules; you all are ridiculous." She turned to Eddie. "Yes, I suppose I do mean it."

Eddie, who was snickering behind his hand, managed to say, "Thanks," before laughing again. Ms. Valentine turned back to Jerome. "Well, Jerome, do you have anything else to say?"

"You have no proof."

The class giggled again.

"Okay," said Ms. Valentine. "So if I were to say I would give you a week's detention, what would you say to that?"

Jerome paled slightly but tossed back resiliently, "You have no proof."

Ms. Valentine raised an eyebrow. "You will have a detention if you don't stop this."

Jerome swallowed. "You have no proof."

Later Jerome wondered why _he _did that particular task. It wasn't fair-it was funny, yes, but being sent to see Sweetie, and having to contact his father was not…

* * *

><p><em>15. Switching places with my twin is not acceptable.<em>

Seven people in Anubis house-Jerome, Nina, Fabian, Eddie, Amber, Joy, and Mara-stood staring, open-mouthed, at the scene in front of them.

"Is-" Mara seemed to be the one who regained her voice first, "is-is that _Patricia_? Flirting with _Alfie_?"

Jerome cringed slightly. He knew Mara would never be like Amber, but girls and enunciating…

"It-" Nina swallowed, "it appears so."

Amber flared. "_Why _is _Patricia flirting _with _Alfie?"_

The males there-Jerome, Eddie, and Fabian-all cringed away from Amber. They each shuddered. Amber was enunciating…This was not looking good for either Patricia or Alfie.

"Yeah," Eddie spoke up. "Why is he flirting with my girlfriend?"

"I don't know," said Joy, "but have you noticed Patricia's been out of sorts all day?"

"Right," said Fabian, "she's actually _nice_. A bit frightening, really."

The rest of the house nodded their agreement.

"I mean," Fabian continued, "this morning, when I dropped my books, instead of laughing, she actually helped me and picked them up! It was weird."

"And instead of calling me Krueger or something," added Eddie, "she said, 'Hi, Eddie' then sat down at the table without saying something snarky or kissing me. In fact, she sat next to _Alfie_!"

"Yeah!" cried Amber. "In _my _seat!"

"This is certainly weird," said Nina. "Should we go and confront her?"

"NO!" yelled the rest of the house as one. Nina stared at them, surprised.

"Sorry, Nina," apologized Fabian, "it's just-you never confront Patricia about something. Ever."

"Yeah," Eddie nodded, agreeing. "I learned that the hard way."

"Once, I confronted Patricia about reading Twilight," said Joy. "Things went downhill from there."

"Yeah, Nins," Amber replied, "you _never _want to confront Patricia."

The three boys of Anubis house shared a look. Amber was enunciating awfully a lot…

Somewhere else, not at the school of the Chosen One and the Osirian and all of the creepy Egyptian mystery, another girl with red locks sat at the piano.

"No, no, no!" cried to teacher. "You do not hit the D key! You need to hit the F key!"

"I'm going to be hitting more than piano keys in a second," replied the redhead grumpily.

"Piper!" cried the teacher. "You have never been more rude, and you're usually nicer! _What _has gotten into you!"

_If only you knew, _thought 'Piper'. _If only you knew._

* * *

><p><strong>If only.<strong>

**~D**


	5. 16 to 20

**I'm afraid these won't be as good as the last ones, or in my opinion anyway, but I really liked the last one a lot. I think these are a little longer, too.**

**Oh, in case you haven't, you might want to watch the Potter Puppet Pals, episode, 'The Mysterious Ticking Noise'. You don't have to, but it's the only way you'll get number twenty.**

**Sorry about my absence, too, but I don't write only for this category, you know!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HoA, or Potter Puppet Pals.**

* * *

><p><em>16. I will not have 'pajama day' at school.<em>

"Mr. Sweet?" his secretary asked, looking into his office.

Mr. Sweet sighed and looked up. "Yes?"

The secretary hesitated. "There seems to be a disturbance in the students…"

Mr. Sweet put a hand on his forehead. "It's the Anubis kids, isn't it?" The look on the secretary's face said it all. "All right, what did they do this time?"

"They're not in uniform," she replied, "but they're not in casual clothes, either."

Mr. Sweet gave a slightly crazed laugh. "What are they in, then? Swim suits?"

"No," she said, and Mr. Sweet had a slight moment of relief before she continued, "they're in pajamas instead."

Mr. Sweet had a headache.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the school, a pretty blonde was standing in front of her locker mirror, complaining.

"No, Amber," said Nina, exasperated, "we're _supposed _to have bed head, you know, to give the full experience."

"But my hair, Nins!" Amber complained, staring at it in despair. "My hair!"

"Wait," said Alfie, looking over at Nina from behind his girlfriend, "you said the full experience, right?"

Nina looked at him warily. "Yeah…"

Alfie reached up to scratch his head. "So, I was wondering…if we had to brush our teeth?"

"Why are you asking, Alfie?"

"Because-"

But Alfie's response was cut off by a loud, crackly voice. "Anubis house, please report to the principal's office."

The three standing there pausing for a moment before Alfie grinned. Winking at Nina, he turned and ran away. Nina looked after him and shivered.

"Niiinna…I need to look presentable for Sweetie…_now _can I comb my hair?"

Nina closed her eyes and sighed. Never again, Jerome. Never again.

In the principal's office, Mr. Sweet was thinking the same thing.

* * *

><p><em>17. I will not stick an 'insult me' sign on the principal's back.<em>

"Jerome Clarke and Alfie Lewis, please report to the principal's office."

Jerome shared a look with Alfie and had to fight back a grin. Shoving the rest of his books in his locker, Jerome turned and quickly walked through the halls to Mr. Sweet's office, Alfie behind him.

"You have no proof," Jerome said immediately as he entered the office. "We didn't do anything."

Alfie moved out from behind Jerome. "Yeah!" he chorused. Mr. Sweet just raised a tired eyebrow.

"According to eighteen students, you did."

Jerome shared an awed look with Alfie. _Eighteen? _They both thought a little proudly, before Mr. Sweet pulled them back.

"Yes," he said dryly as if he had read their thoughts, "eighteen. And do you know why they're there?"

Jerome and Alfie quickly shook their heads, and Alfie saluted. "No, sir, Mr. Sweet, sir."

"Alfred," Mr. Sweet said, causing Jerome to snicker slightly at Alfie's name and Alfie to grimace, "please."

"Please what, sir?" Alfred 'Alfie' Lewis chirped, trying to get past the uncomfortable feeling his real name caused him.

Mr. Sweet looked at Alfie directly. "Stop." There was a pause as he sipped some tea. "As I was saying, eighteen students are in detention, and I'm pretty sure you know why." Mr. Sweet looked at the pair evenly. "They wouldn't tell me, though, only that you two had a part in this. So," he set his cup down, "anything to say for yourselves?"

Alfie couldn't hold it in anymore. "What insults did they call you, sir?" He asked, to a slight nudge but snicker of amusement from Jerome.

Mr. Sweet went red. "What?"

"What insults?"

"That is completely inappropriate-"

"Did one of them say it's weird you name was Mr. Sweet, because you're as sweet as dirt?" Alfie had an eager look on his face. "I asked one to say it, but I didn't know if-"

Mr. Sweet narrowed his eyes, but before he could say anything, his secretary opened the door. She looked at him. "You're needed in the drama room, Mr. Sweet," said the secretary. "It seems one student has had too many sugar."

Mr. Sweet gave a hesitant nod before he stood up. Sweeping by the two, Alfie and Jerome had to laugh. There, on his back, written on white paper was-_Insult Me! And give it all you got-no need to lie.-Lewis and Clarke_

* * *

><p><em>18. Telling Amber to take Patricia shopping is a very bad idea.<em>

"Oh my gosh," muttered Mara as she stared after Amber and Patricia, "what have you done?"

Jerome shrugged and smirked. "A favor."

"More like a curse!" Came a cry, and Joy moved out from behind Jerome. "I can't believe you."

Jerome shrugged. "Seeing is believing," he paused. "Is that right?"

"Never mind that," Mara waved it off. "But you're in for some serious revenge when Patricia gets back."

Jerome raised an eyebrow. "What could a girl like her possibly do to a guy like me?"

Eddie bit into an apple. "You mean a cute, devious, vengeful kind of girl like her could do to a pranky, irrational, conceited guy like you? I don't know, surely not something bad."

Jerome scowled at Eddie. "Whatever. It's not that bad."

"Oh, yes it is!" Nina called from where she was sitting on the couch with Fabian, "if you've done what I think you've done, then that is terrible. Even Eddie knows it, and he hasn't been here long-"

"Hey!" cried Eddie, but Joy nodded.

"Good point," she said, giving Eddie a side glance. Eddie glowered as he viciously bit into an apple.

"She's my girlfriend," said Eddie, "of course I would know!"

"There are a lot of things you probably don't know," said Mara, leaning against Jerome, "but Patricia hating shopping? That's definitely one of them." She glanced up at Jerome. "I still can't believe you."

"What?" said Alfie, who had just entered the room, "what did he do?"

"He told Amber that Patricia has finally seen 'the light'," said Eddie, "and that Patricia needs a whole new wardrobe and makeover."

"Wow," whistled Alfie, falling onto the loveseat. "Mate, you're dead."

"So they say," grumbled Jerome, who had now begun to regret his decision.

"What do you think Patricia's going to do to him?" asked Fabian. Joy shook her head.

"Nothing good," Joy looked at Jerome, who now was slightly scared. "Nothing good at all."

The next day, Jerome found all his clothes pink and glittered, and his shampoo died red. Eddie took one look at Jerome as he entered the next morning and shrugged. "Eh," Eddie bit into his apple, "it could've been worse."

* * *

><p><em>19. Telling Patricia we have a new American student in the house will result in a rant.<em>

"Patricia?" Eddie murmured to her quietly. Patricia glanced up at him.

"Yeah?"

He cleared his throat. "Um, we have some, er…bad news."

Patricia twisted in her chair to face him. "_What _bad news?"

Eddie blinked at her slightly before he regained his attention. "It's…um..we have a new student coming to the house. And they're American."

Patricia blinked. "What?"

"Yeah," Eddie continued, his confidence being boosted a bit more when he saw Patricia wasn't freaking out, "His name's Jake, I think-"

"_What?_" Patricia whispered, and Eddie paused to stare at her. "No, Eddie. Continue, please."

"Er, yeah, so…he's American," finished Eddie lamely, hesitant to see her reaction.

Patricia sighed heavily. "You're kidding, right? This is another of Jerome's stupid jokes?"

Eddie shook his head and swallowed tightly. "No, as Trudy if you must-"

"This is terrible!" She cried. "What power is the American going to have now? I mean, we already have a Chosen One and Osirian-it can't be a Brit-"

"Patricia?"

"He must have magic or something. This is ridiculous! What was Mr. Sweet thinking? And Anubis house? Why us? We have _way _to many Americans-"

"You only have two," Eddie pointed out.

Patricia threw her arms up in the air. "Exactly! I'm glad _someone _understands. Americans-"

Eddie quickly got up and left the room, not wanting to see her rant get any worse. _I think, _thought Eddie as he walked to his room, _it _would _be rather interesting to see the next power. But really, Patricia? Magic?_

* * *

><p><em>20. Saying "Snape, Snape, Severus Snape" during class is annoying and distracting.<em>

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape…"

Mr. Sweet spun around, his eyes quickly searching the classroom. Really, he was getting too old for this.

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape…"

Mr. Sweet could rule the other houses out, it had to be Anubis. But which one? When he looked at their group, they were all hard at work…Mr. Sweet narrowed his eyes. There was something wrong with that.

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape…"

There! Alfie's mouth just moved! But he was just whispering something to Jerome, who had begun to laugh now…

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape…"

Maybe it was Nina, the American? He knew she liked Harry Potter. But no, she was conversing quietly with Amber. Hard at work, indeed!

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape…"

Oh my…he really needed some aspirin.

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape…"

"Dumbledore!"

"Please excuse me for a moment, class," Mr. Sweet told the students, "I think I just left something in my office. I'll be back soon." _Yes, _thought Mr. Sweet as he exited the door, _I forgot my pill._

Right before Mr. Sweet closed the door there was another, "Snape, Snape, Severus Snape…"

Mr. Sweet widened his eyes.

"Dumbledore!"

Quickly he closed the door and hurried to his office.

Back in the science room, the whole class was snickering. Mara turned to Fabian.

"Nice job on the Snape thing, Fabian," she complimented. "Mr. Sweet would have never guessed it was you."

"Thanks," replied Fabian. "Nice job on the Dumbledore. Mr. Sweet never would've guessed you, either."

* * *

><p><strong>Ron, Ron…Ron Weasley!<strong>

**~D**


	6. 21 to 25

**Sorry for the long wait! If you haven't checked yet, I have a schedule on my profile for (almost) all my update times, so you can go see that if you'd like. And I apologize in advance if this chapter isn't exactly the best-my writing hasn't satisfied me lately. :/**

**Speaking of writing, I'm in need of updating Let's Play A Game!...sorry I haven't, but the Doc Manager on Fanfiction won't let me upload. I'm trying, though, and I'll have it up as soon as I can.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HoA.**

* * *

><p><em>21. I will not constantly say the word 'joy' every time Joy is around.<em>

Patricia ran down the stairs and rushed into the dining room. Everyone was seated except for herself and Joy, and letting out a breath of relief, she fell into the only remaining seat next to Eddie.

Jerome didn't give her any time to rest. "Well?" he asked eagerly. "Is Joy coming down?"

Patricia eyed him warily and nodded. "Yes, she should be down in about a minute."

"Alright," Jerome glanced around the table. "Does everyone remember the plan?"

"Of course," said Alfie. "It'll be a _joy_ to do!"

Everyone stared at him blankly.

"What?" he said. "Isn't that what we were supposed to do-"

The sound of footsteps quickly shut him up, and everyone waited in silence as Joy approached. Right before she entered, Jerome looked around wildly.

"Quick!" he said in a hushed voice, "act natural!"

As Joy entered the room, she noticed everyone was smiling, laughing, and talking loudly. Joy was confused-everyone usually had their own private conversations. As Joy walked past her housemates to her seat, she was able to hear small bits of what they were saying;

"That's joyful, Nina!"

"What a joy."

"Isn't it a joy?"

"Oh Joy! That's joyous!"

Joy paused and looked at all of them. "Why do you keep saying my name? What is it?"

Patricia looked at me. "Joy, what are you talking about? I was just explaining to Eddie what a joy would be."

"But I'm Joy," Joy pointed out.

"Yeah," Patricia raised her eyebrow. "Your point?"

Grabbing some bacon from the table, Joy decided she would-or should-walk ahead of her housemates. They'd all been off their rocker lately, anyway.

* * *

><p><em>22. I will not make a dramatic scene, telling Fabian he stole my 'snuggle bear'.<em>

"Oh, Fabian!" Alfie burst into the drama room, his eyes wide with his arms flailing.

Fabian suddenly felt the urge to run. "Yes, Alfie?"

Alfie sniffed. "You-you-"

Fabian shuffled to the side. "I what, Alfie?"

Alfie sniffed again, and everyone-especially Fabian-watched with alarm as he collapsed to his knees. "You-you-_you stole my snuggle bear_!" Alfie let out a wail, covering his face with his hands to hide his grin.

"I what?" Fabian turned red as everyone around them laughed. "I didn't-"

"Yes you did," Alfie said firmly from behind his hands, "you stole it! You told me you wanted to borrow it for a bit, and you never gave it back! You stole my snuggle bear!"

Fabian turned redder. "I did no such thing!"

"Yes you did," Alfie sniffed once again. "Tell him, Eddie!"

Fabian stared at Eddie pleadingly while the blonde American had an amused look on his face. "Actually," Eddie smirked, "I think I _do _remember you sneaking into our room at one point…you looked very suspicious…"

_That was Sibuna! _Fabian wanted to yell, but knew now was not the time. He settled for merely sitting there, his face like a tomato.

"Class?" The drama teacher walked in, causing everyone to stop abruptly. "What is it?"

Alfie, removing his hands, smiled brightly. "Nothing, ma'am! I was just telling Fabian to give back what he stole."

"Oh?" the teacher looked at Fabian. "And what did he steal, Mr. Lewis?"

"My snuggle bear!"

"Alright. Fabian, please give Mr. Lewis back his snuggle bear."

Fabian was mortified.

* * *

><p><em>23. I will not attempt to convince Alfie that Amber is an alien.<em>

"I'm telling you," said Jerome, "she _is_!"

"You have no proof," Alfie replied stubbornly. "I know she's a little odd, but-"

"Alfie, she wears makeup constantly, is always worrying about her nails, and won't let us see her without her hair done or her makeup on." Jerome raised an eyebrow at his friend. "Seems like she's trying to hide something, don't you think? Hide her ugly complexion…her alien eyes…"

"Who are you talking about?" Jerome and Alfie looked up, startled, as Amber entered the common room. Sitting on a couch and pulling out her fashion magazine she said, "Hello?"

"Nothing, Ambs," Alfie said immediately just as Jerome replied, "You!"

Amber looked at Jerome. "Pardon?"

"We were talking about you," said Jerome. "See, Alfie here was trying to convince me that you were an alien, but I, knowing that aliens don't exist, was having none of it."

"That's not true!" Alfie yelped. "I was just saying you couldn't quite possibly be an alien!"

Amber eyed him suspiciously. "Mm hmm," she said. She turned to Jerome. "It looks like we've been found out, Clarke. Tell our leader he's going to have to hold off the visit."

Jerome stared at Amber in shock as Alfie jumped up. "I knew it!" he cried, completely ignoring the fact that he was going against what he just said. "Wait until I tell the others! Then they'll _have _to believe me!"

There was a silence for a moment as Alfie ran off, and then Jerome turned to Amber, blinking.

"What?" Amber shrugged. "I know how to joke, from time to time."

"Gosh," said Jerome, walking out of the room, "maybe you _are _an alien…"

* * *

><p><em>24. Repeatedly telling Nina they are coming for her will not end well.<em>

"Nina?" said Fabian, "I have some bad news."

"What is it?" Nina paused from her work and turned to face him, keeping her voice a whisper. "Whatever it is, Fabian, can it wait until later? We're taking a test-"

"They're coming for you," Fabian cut across her, giving her a serious look. He watched as Nina's face slowly paled.

"What was that?"

"I said they're coming for you," Fabian looked around cautiously. "I'm not supposed to be telling you this, but-"

"I should've known," Nina whispered. "We already have two mysteries, why not have another one?" she looked at Fabian. "Gather Sibuna, we're having a meeting at six."

Fabian nodded, trying to look grave. "Good idea."

"I don't know where you got that," Nina whispered, "but thanks."

Turning, Nina went back to working on her test, her face still looking ashen. _You won't be thanking me later, _thought Fabian. Glancing back down at his test, Fabian reasoned he deserved this small moment of fun before Nina got her revenge.

* * *

><p><em>25. Pretending to be a dog in public will result in humiliation.<em>

"Are you sure about this, Alfie?" Jerome asked, looking down at his friend. "You don't have to-"

"I told you," said Alfie stubbornly from down on his knees, "my name is Alfonso, your dog."

Jerome didn't say anything for a moment.

"C'mon, Jerome," said Alfie. "You put it on your list-"

"Yes, but you don't realize how this is going to affect me!" Jerome exclaimed. As a few people turned to look at them, Jerome lowered his voice into a whisper. "People will think I'm as mental as you, walking around likeyou're my dog-"

"Oh," Alfie said, sounding disappointed. "I thought, for once, you might care about someone other than yourself."

"Not going to happen, _Alfonso_," Jerome glanced around. "Look, do you want to do this or not? We're going to have to do it soon-"

"Do _I _want to do it? You're the one who-"

"Alfonso. Shut up."

"I don't think dogs have a command for that-"

"Alfonso. _Shut up_."

"…Bark?"

"Very good. Come on." Jerome glanced around once more before he began walking forward, making sure _Alfonso _followed. They didn't have a leash for Alfie as they didn't want to choke him accidentally, and Alfie, before he became Alfonso, had said he wanted to move freely.

"Bark! Bark!" Alfie grinned as his 'barking' drew people's attention. "Woof! Bark!"

"Alfonso," said Jerome, "sit."

"Bark!"

"_Sit._"

Alfonso sat.

"Well," said Jerome, stopping, "I think I've been humiliated enough." He started to turn. "Enough people have had a laugh at us, don't you think? Come on, Alf-"

"Bark! Bark! Woof!"

"…Fine. Come on, then-"

Alfie moved so suddenly, Jerome didn't have enough time to stop him before Alfie was running across the grounds of the school.

"Alfie! Alright, Alfonso! Get back here-"

The surrounding students on campus had the rare opportunity to see Jerome running and shouting like a fool while chasing after a skinny boy pretending to be a dog. Needless to say, it was a normal day. The Anubis kids were always up to _something_…

* * *

><p><strong>The last lines of these usually entertain me the most. ^.^<strong>

**~D**


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